I’ve had a glass or two and not only am I feeling good, I’d like to take a second and address something I keep thinking about… Why do some of you keep dealing with loser men?
All around me I keep seeing women get their hearts broken by sorry excuses for men and because of it, carry around a belief that there are no good men in the world.
In actuality, it’s our being so desperate for love and ignoring the red flags that create issues.
We can’t judge all men based upon the random losers that we date, especially when those losers shouldn’t have been qualified to be with us in the first place!
Here’s a few examples of red flags that women like to explain away over and over again…
- You can barely get repeat dates with him.
- You do ALL the work to hold his interests.
- He has put his hands on you.
- You call him more than his mom does, only to get voicemail 90% of the time.
- Give him sex because you don’t want him to get it elsewhere.
- Let him call you out of your name and still stay with him.
- Ask him to help you out more but he ignores you.
- Rather spend all his free time with friends/playing video games.
- You constantly argue with him.
- And so much more!
Then somehow, after all of this lowering yourself and putting up with nonsense, you end up surprised/hurt that he doesn’t want you, has always been cheating on you, doesn’t take you seriously, doesn’t love you or he would rather be “just friends”.
My first piece of advice is… WAKE THE FUCK UP!
Sweetie, you DON’T deserve this. For a relationship to work, both people have to be with AND into each other. If you notice you are always calling, texting, asking him to go somewhere, doing nice things for him, trying to get him to meet all your friends and family, asking him questions about himself and he isn’t responding with the same level of interests, you are missing not only red flags but a great deal of self love. You deserve more, yet for some reason you are afraid to demand it.
I think this type of behavior stems from women that are afraid to look too close. If they realize that the guy they want doesn’t want them, what’s to stop the next guy from rejecting them also?
Somewhere in your mind you convince yourself that all your kindness and door-matting abilities will make him see the good in you enough to care about you one day. Which is totally not true and the perfect time for my second piece of advice… CUT THAT SHIT OUT!
You are better than that! I don’t know who fucked up your head, broke your unicorn, pissed on your self-esteem or took your cookie, but what’s done is done, it’s time to do better. Stop settling and giving away pieces of yourself for anyone who wants a sample. It’s the whole cake or none at all. If he can’t handle it, he better get up from the table to make room for the man who can.
I’m just so sick and tired of women not understanding their worth and messing around with guys that wear red flags as a daily outfit. News flash! If he is acting up in the beginning, he IS NOT going to improve with time!
Pay attention. No one needs to mistreat you or leave you hanging for you to get the point. Don’t be so afraid to leave a trashy guy on the street corner where he belongs. TRUST ME, you will find another.
Well ladies, I think that’s about it. I’m not going to hound you for a long time about this. I just wanted to do a post to tell you that YOU, should love YOU better. Realize that your view of men may be slightly tainted because you haven’t loved yourself enough to demand more. There ARE good men out there, and there is a good one out there for you. If you allow yourself to think there aren’t, then you are likely to give up and settle just because you think you won’t/can’t do any better.
Remember you are amazing, you are unique, you are a special treasure to the right man and your value is beyond measure. God made you to shine in your version of beautiful for a reason. Don’t squander it, try to erase it or feel like it’s not good enough. It is good enough and FUCK EVERYONE who disagrees.
The Tipsy Counselor